I took a 3-hour nap earlier so I feel fine. Just showered and now letting my hair dry. Instead of powering on the blower at this hour, I’ll use the mini fan. I am listening to lofi music at a low volume. This moment feels really good.
How’s your first week of 2022? Mine was hella frantic. This is what I get for taking four work days off in the last 2 weeks of December. Looks like I only need two work days off for the holidays this year. Why am I even checking the December calendar already?
So anyway, I spent the holidays out of town with my family. No huge gatherings whatsoever, but I gained around 7 pounds. Goddamn, this aging body. At least I immediately resumed intermittent fasting after the feasts so it’s alright.
The residual dizziness I talked about from my vertigo attack is almost gone now. I even went swimming last month and felt totally fine. I never want to experience vertigo again. If I’m honest, vertigo is a stronger motivation to focus on my overall health than my husband’s cheating of 2019.
I don’t think I mentioned it anywhere that I lost around 20 pounds in December 2019 due to heartbreak. But I gradually regained the weight in 2020 and 2021, which I shouldn’t have. I remember thinking, why was I trying so hard to lose weight? To save my marriage with a cheater?
Perhaps it’s what people refer to as being in a “dark place”. As you can see in this blog, I was consumed by hate for my husband over the past two years. Being cheated on is no joke, I mean, we’ve all seen crime of passion documentaries.
I still don’t like my husband as much as I did when we were dating but we’re doing okay. Definitely iffy on the love part. Maybe saying I fell out of love is an exaggeration. The fact that I’m still here probably means love, right? Or are we staying together for convenience?